Part 2 – So if you’ve been married for a few years and your husband isn’t giving you enough sex but is watching porn, what can you do? Is the issue the porn or is it more?
Finally, if your husband admitted he slept with a co-worker and you can’t seem to move past the image of them together without knowing all of the intimate details, what can you do? Should you ask for the details or how can you move on without knowing?
July 10th, 2009 at 10:07 am
porn can be as much trouble as an affair, or as innocent as reading a newspaper. Porn can be enjoyed together once ya get past the possible awkwardness. Porn can get to be a weapon of destruction, when he is turning to porn more than you he is to you. Now you are left playing twenty questions and feeling rejected, which is unkind. Start with the logical problems that he may feel scared about.Does he need the visual stimulation to perform, is forplay too long for him where he loses his hardness? This leads to his feeling inadequate and old. Is your lovemaking a perdictable act because you are both to nervous to talk about what you are doing? Even when you are as physically as close as two people could be, I never knew if my husband like me to go down on him. I could not talk to him face to face (at 19) I used to have to be doing some thing else like kissing his neck when I wanted to put it in my mouth? I found out years after our divorce that he did not like blow jobs because he could only orgasm while copulating. A physical/mental block…as in 8 years of marriage he popped off twice. Could he ask you to do that or could you suggest that you get on all fours? There is a difference between having sex and lovemaking are y’all in a rut, the same and safe is okay for a while yet there needs a healthy balance of play, and communication…If verbal communication has gotten uncomfortable, Write down your thoughts naughty and nice, express the physical and emotional side of your desire and love for him, and he can do the same If he sees nothing wrong and unwilling to explore this with you, and has chosen to keep porn in his love making, this is a deliberate act that he owes a explanation to you. By now you are feeling like you are not worth it or desirable enough…NOT TRUE…i proved it to my husb (X) that the issue is his. I got my validation outside the marriage more than once.His selfishness is really about him getting off the best way, like only he can only do it, especially if there is a mental issue.if he HAS to have a film is on,while he is having sex on you, he has desensitized himself to a healthy relationship. Or he has become a selfish pig and is porning it with all of the preparation and anticipation, he may be facing erection problems mentally when he is with any woman not only you. The addiction is not about loving another woman, or because he thinks you are ugly or no good in bed. He ends up picking porn because it is perfect everytime. It is all about him. It only involes him, he gets what he wants as fast as he wants it, and the visual stimulation that he is looking at a sex vixen, who is young and hot, and in his eyes, she will think of him the same way regarless of how much he looks like Archie Bunker. It is a non person who is not real,,,,but to him she is wanting him bad….he could never get something like that in the real world. You could take some pleasure out of it…by reminding him (kindly) that she is an actress.starting with her fake hair, nails, boobs and skin color. As part of her job she has a manicure and pedicure at least weekly, she has hair removal, botox, aids tests,a costume stylist, make up artist, set designer,mood maker (some of the artists are like rock stars, they need their booze, meth,and coke) her personal aid is someone that helps her dress, douche, and gives her an enema, picks up her lubes and goo. She is perfect, her nail color and nipple color match…time for “work” it is a job to her…,,,all staged so that your less than confident hubby will gladly shell out that $15 bucks for a magazine to have bambi waiting just for him, like the hot singles in your area that are ready to chat to only you right now, for 6$ a minute. My advice is that you talk or write him, give him a chance to expain, come up with some solutions..If not let him know that it is time for a men’s health check, maybe a little blue pill if that the problem You could offer to share porn or you will try to pick up something for you to explore together…if he refuses or repeatedly rejects the ideas ,you will make damn sure that all available porn and access to it will be destroyed until your needs are given attention, or , if he wants to be unfaithful by porn you will enjoy the same, except you might just choose the 25 year old lawn “boy” next door. no charge for the therapy….good luck. I had been there and the emotional scars and damage still sneak up on me 30 years later